Did you think that the all-American teddy bear needed any improvement?
Neither did I.
At least, that’s until the other night when I was walking through the Columbus Circle Holiday Market and came across a stall selling microwaveable teddy bears.
Apparently these new–and-improved teddy bears have some sort of heating element inside them that will keep you warm all night long (or approximately 30 minutes). All you have to do is put the cuddly little creature into the kitchen microwave for a few minutes (make sure to scrape out the crud first).
After seeing this amazing teddy bear, I can’t help but feel that all other stuffed animals are somehow deficient. Why would you rely on an old teddy bear that only offers emotional warmth when you can get one that emits actual heat?
I guess its time to drag out the dumpster and get rid of all those old and busted stuffed animals to make way for the new warming ones.
God Bless America!