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Why Europe Stinks €. 1 – Pay Toilets

Don and a Pay Toilet

Everyone knows the feeling.

When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go – and nothing better stand in your way.

But what if I told you there was a land ruled by people who will obstruct your path to the toilet and shake you down for money during your time of need? You would be outraged. Surely, such a place cannot exist. Interfering with such a basic human need just to make a buck is perverse, if not inhumane!

But these horrors do occur every day, and it not where you might guess.

No it’s not in Burma, under the sick dictates of a military Junta.

And it is not some profiteering Somali pirate camp.

No sir. These outrages occur daily in Europe. A place that calls itself civilized.

Imagine, finding yourself in the most dire need of relief, and just when you stumble across a restroom facility it hits you: they are going to make you pay to pee. You’re going to be forced to tear through your pockets in search of spare change to hand over to the bouncer or feed to the often broken automated machine before they will let you in.

The horror and indignity of it all.

For all their blustering and grandstanding about human rights, equality and the dignity of man, the Europeans have a perverted tendency to exploit those in need of a toilet just to make a quick buck.  Sure they might have niceties like universal pensions, 6-weeks paid vacation and in-home day care. But the most fundamental right is to pee for free.

Without it they have nothing.*

*Except, perhaps, for a rather acrid smell coming from many of their rivers and side streets, particularly in Rome.

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  1. Don says:

    That fucking stinks! Europe sucks big time!

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  3. TheClashBlog says:

    It’s true – the majority are so full of shit in America – imagine having to pay to release it. Oh, and your public bathrooms are filthy too.

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  7. No tips for you says:

    Those toilets are only in places where a lot of American tourists gather…

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  10. John Doe says:

    True… True…

  11. dave says:

    this is the dumbest website i’ve ever seen, almost all of the things you list as benefits in america are negatives. it’s all just a sign of how lazy people are here. drive everywhere, sit glued to the TV, eating junkfood, don’t even know your neighbor. i mean, i like urbanized american cities like San Francisco and the like, but i would take Europe any day.

  12. The Real American Dave says:

    This issue has actually prevented me from spending money that i otherwise would spend in Europe. Here is the logic behind the last statement. Wow it is a really hot day. no stores have aircon so i have to drink a lot of liquid. oh no i cant do that because i will eventually have to use a toilet. better off to just stay home and go downtown on a cooler day. these thoughts have crossed my mind several times while travelling and living in germany. it is better to stay in the cellar on hot days than go downtown and contribute to the economy. so the measly amount of money that stores save by not using airconditioning and charging customers for using toilets is nothing compared to the money they lose by operating things in a customer unfriendly way.

  13. Alex Wright says:

    I’ve always wondered how on earth the homeless go to the loo in continental Europe. Most public toilets in Britain are free, though there aren’t many council ones, you usually have to go in a shopping centre (you often have to put change on an old lady’s plate in shopping centres/department stores in Europe too). So after the shops are closed you have to sneak into pubs/fast food places (usually patrons only officially).

    More toilets are becoming pay in Britain, though 20-30p (30-50 US cents) not €1 like it is in some German train stations (50 Euro cents is more the norm there, in Berlin are double: I bet they’re the ones with no other loos nearby).

    The only advantage in Europe was for a bit of change you could legitimately use any restaurant/café toilet you happen to be near without sneaking in, or asking and feeling embarassed like you would in Britain – where you can often be ages away from public loos (in Britain you could sneak in a pub loo, but it’s embarrasing to ask if you can use a restaurant’s).

  14. Jonas says:

    I was in (west) Germany, in a “downtown” hotel with “hard” water. Impossible to drink it. I was very thirsty and the hotel had no drinks machines whatsoever, so I went out at 11 PM and found a machine, but it was a cigarette machine… There were no drinks machines at all, only rauchen machinen. Then I went to a bar or a restaurant with a loud music and asked for a glass of water. I was turned away, they told me they are closing soon. I told them I was literally dying of thirst. They told me to go away. Well, I told them i will pay for water, but they closed the door. There was no fucking water,. nothing to drink! I went back to my hotel room and went to bed very thirsty with dry mouth. No comment. In fact I am from Lithuania. This would have not happened in my country nor in USA. I think in the USA they would always have given me water no matter what. Why not have water fountains and soda machines in Germany? Why not have drinks machines in a hotel in Germany at night? I’m not complaining, but I really remember that scary night when i almost died from thirst. The next day, I think I found some water to drink, I’m sure.

  15. Jonas says:

    Here I am again. This time I was sin England, on a visit as a single tourist. It was after 9 PM and the toilet was closed (hell…). The guy from India in the bus stop peed right next to me. His wife blocked him from me, but I could see him peeing and it splashed on my foot…. They close public urinaries in UK at 9 PM. I went to pee in some residential gates, I was ashamed of that but had no choice. Again, I’m from Lithuania. Toilets in my country often stink, but they are available and are open 24/7. I like the way things are in USA. They allow you to pee or poo for free in any restaurant or a petrol station. It’s a law in USA to let anyone pee in your toilet. No charge. In Europe there is charge for poo and usually pee is free, but sometimes even pee is paid. I remember I was in Ukraine in Kiyv and there were no public toilets at all. I wanted to poo badly, so I went in downtown in a park and pooed a huge pile. There was no paper, but I’m ok to use leaves from trees to wipe my beautiful ass with. I also love how cars are in the Netherlands. They all have leakng petrol tanks due to rust from canals. Very dangerous. Don’t buy a car in NL. I usually buy a car and drive around Europe, then sell it or dump it. Instead of renting. It’s more fun that way. Once I asked a girl out in Brussels, she freaked out of my accent. A boy 12 years old in NL called me a nigger even if I am a very white guy. because i got an accent and because I had only large banknotes in a tram and had no change. I’d gladly shoved the 200 EUR banknote to that boys face. People in Europe are a lot rude and racist even to other Europeans. I like friendlier countries. Actually I like Germany and Poland. I do not like Netherlands at all. Belgium is fine. France is ok. Spain is warm. Italy is Third World, but has some nice architecture. I think North Europe including my country is very clean to compare to southern and western parts of Europe. But our toilets leave more to be desired. It can stink like a toilet even in an office building in an eatery/restaurant. Yuck. The best country in the world is….. guess?

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