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#4. Down-Escalators

A Steep EsclatorIt has been a long day and you’ve been schlepping your ass around a European city for hours. Because they don’t have adequate parking, you have to suffer the indignity of descending into the hot, sticky subway to get back to your hotel. Then, when you finally find the subway station, you’re hit with the ultimate slap in the face.

No down-escalator.

Instead of calmly riding the escalator down to the station, you’re forced to take the stairs. What makes matters worse is while your lugging your things down the stairs, you’re force to watch as passengers heading out ride an up-escalator in comfort.

In America this would never happen.

Why? Because we believe in something called equality.

We don’t have a two-tiered system of vertical transport: one for those going up, and another for those going down.

No sir.

In America, we have up-escalators, down-escalators, stairs and elevators so that every American has equal access to the vertical transportation method they desire – no matter which direction they are headed.

God Bless America!

[digg=http://digg.com/comedy/The_great_thing_about_America_Down_Escalators]

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4 Comments

  1. I don’t understand why YOU privilege vertical movement, over ALL directions of movement. Well, II also demand equality: comment upon Americans and their MOVING SIDEWALKS. We have these airports and malls, and they are amazing. Walking up stairs could be an exertion, but being helped when you are walking straight ahead on a flat surface? That’s truly American. USA! USA!

  2. Pedro says:

    Is your desired city a place where you have scalators, and moving corridors to go everywhere instead of using your feet and legs (americans do have them, do you?).
    There is a place in Europe, called Holland, where people prefer to ride a bycicle (it has no engine, it moves because the rider pushes!) to go to their jobs, schools, concerts, etc. instead of burning gas on an engine.
    I imagine that sound like a nightmare for you, but believe: it exists. And people is happy there.

    May be you have to question yourself a little about that.

  3. John Doe says:

    And they are extra wide, because 2/3 of the US population is overweight.

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